Seriously. This house is way too damn cold for me. I'm such a wuss.
Maybe that's why we've gotten somewhere between fifteen and twenty blankets for Bella for Christmas.
December 30, 2009
One last post for the night...
I just want to formally appologize ahead of time to anyone who reads my last post...I blame excedrin and mountain dew. I'm probably a little too hyper right now...but I do REALLY need to go to bed. I just wanted to say I'm sorry for any headache, cramping, or mental blindness that may occur from reading it.
Seriously this time...Good night!
Seriously this time...Good night!
Year in Review
So, 2009 is coming to a close and I think it's about time to write a year in review. I has been a pretty big year.
Well, we found out I was pregnant on New Years of 2009. The test was so faint (and, I'll admit it, I was kind of in denial) and I wanted to be 110% positive, so I took a second (okay, a fifth) test on Jan 2nd. It was a digital and there was NO denying the word "POSITIVE" that was staring me in the face.
I'll admit...I cried. I was scared shitless. Travis on the other hand was bouncing (and I mean literally bouncing like a kid on caffeine) around the apartment. He was giddy and I was a wreck. We were already preparing for our move and I was trying to wrap my head around moving away from Kansas for the first time in my life, and the thought of having a small person starting to grow inside of me was too much for my brain to handle at the time. Luckily I called my family and they were so supportive from the start.
Two weeks later (Jan 15th) we were packed and on the road to New Jersey. It was my first long road trip and I'm proud to say that I handled it much better than I expected. I think the one thing that helped more than anything was having friends and family that were willing to spend hours on the phone (don't worry I had a bluetooth thingy) keeping me awake and entertained. It took three days (we took breaks...we were in seperate vehicles and I could not have made that drive without taking breaks) and when we got in it was about midnight out there. We were exhausted from the trip and brought in only what we absolutely needed (and the cat...she wasn't a fan of the car ride). We knew all along that we'd be staying in the basement but it would have been nice if someone would have thought to at least clear a spot on the floor for us to put the air mattress. It was probably below freezing in the basement that night (no, not exagerating, we had an air mattress that slowly deflated throughout the night on a concrete floor) and it was miserable. I think I MIGHT have gotten about an hour of sleep that night. Not the best experience of my life, but I lived. :P
Things were rough to start after the move...
Okay that's a bit of an understatement...and possibily sugarcoated a little. Okay a lot.
It was hell. There was constant drama with Travis's sister, there was issues with finances because neither of us could find work out there (yeah, big A+ to moving to a state that the recession hit headon like a fucking train), and I didn't know anyone other than Travis's friends and family, so the stress of being pregnant and being in a new place was awful.
About mid-February we finally told Travis's family that I was pregnant. It didn't go over so well. As a matter of fact, most of his family made me feel awful, like I was supposed to "take it back". The whole ordeal still bothers me. His grandmother actually walked out of the room saying "No..No..Not yet. No." Ugh. Pisses me off.
The usual drama persisted throughout Spring. I missed my father's 50th birthday and my little sister's graduation (they were within a week of each other) because we were stuck in Jersey waiting to hear back from a 'family friend' about a job for Travis. He had turned down a job that I had a chance to work with him because he was supposed to be making more on his own than we would've made together. Well, the guy had work for him for a grand total of about 30 hours over the course of three weeks...and then he just stopped calling. And because Travis didn't want to disappoint his family and upset this family friend we sat and waited and waited and waited for him to fucking call. Two weeks later he finally called and said that he just didn't have enough work and that he had to let Travis go. Fucking ass.
Okay...Wooo Saaawwwwww. This is getting me a little heated. I'll try to calm down.
Moving on.
In early June I discovered theBump and found at least a little sanity. I finally had people to talk about my pregnancy with. By that point the initial excitement of me being pregnant had worn off for Travis and he was starting to get stressed out and was sick of hearing about it. He won't admit it, but I know it's true.
Also in June we took a road trip up to Maine for Travis's friend's wedding. It was so beautiful up there. If I'm ever rich, I will own a house up in the mountains in Maine to visit in the summertime (because I'm a wuss when it comes to winter). Absolutely gorgeous. Its been almost seventh months since then and I am still dumbfounded by how amazing the landscape was up there. I can't wait to go back, even if its just for a visit.
On July 4th we flew out to Kansas to visit my family (FINALLY). It was a tiny ass plane but by far the easiest flight I've ever been on. The airports were EMPTY. Flying while all fat and stuff was interesting...people in the airport were definitely nicer to me when I was pregnant.
The visit to KS was nice but while we were here we got a phone call from one of Travis's friends. She was informing us that Travis's sister's girlfriend had got a kitten, but found out her mother was "deathly allergic" and they couldn't keep it at their house, so it would be staying with us. o.O I bit my tongue for a little while but on the trip back to the airport I was venting to my parents (we both were, honestly...Travis wasn't too happy about it either) and I brought up that her girlfriend had already told us that her mother was allergic to cats and that's why she couldn't have a cat.
Okay...(Deep breath)
Well, we got back alright and "met" the kitten. It was cute, but Travis brought it up to his sister that he 'thought he remembered' her girlfriend mentioning that her mom was allergic to cats in the past. His sister merely responded with "yeah, but she wanted one". Again..o.O Apparently in New Jersey you get what you want...screw everyone else.
Annnnnnyway. Again I bit my tongue because at that point there was absolutely no talking to anyone. I knew if I had said anything it'd start a fight...and I was trying to avoid having to deal with any extra drama. Well, the extra drama came anyway because Travis asked what the kittens name was.... Oh yeah, this is where it gets good. Bella. The name we had told EVERYONE that we were using when we found out we were having a girl (which, by the way, was in May). As a matter of fact, we had told everyone our name choices from the start. It was Isabella Reese (Bella for short) for a girl, and Jace (probably J for short) Xavier for a boy.
Yep, I was livid but again, I kept my mouth shut until I could talk to Travis privately...which happened later that night. I told him that yes it pissed me off and he needed to talk to her. So he did.
That's when World War III started.
He went upstairs to talk to her and said that things went "alright" but we stepped outside to get some fresh air because A- I was still (more than) a little homicidal and B- the basement always smelled funky. When we were coming back in we could hear her upstairs on the phone crying and yelling about us. I'm going to use direct quotes here because this shit REALLY pissed me off. We heard the following, word for word (because it pissed me off that much that I remember it all word for word): "They're ruining everything. They're trying to take the best part of my life away." (Seriously? I kitten is the best part of your life?) "I'm sick of them. They don't do anything around the house. I have to do everything and they're just trying to make me miserable. The only reason they're here is because she got pregnant and they didn't have anywhere else to go."
...Okay, to understand why I was ready to march up the stairs and break her neck, I'll explain something. The ONLY reason we moved to New Jersey was because Travis's mother died and his family was putting a huge guilt trip on him to move out and help take care of the estate and HIS SISTER. I had an apartment that I was perfectly happy with. Travis was in the military but had to get out because they "really needed" him there and the stress they were putting on him was causing serious issues for him (not sleeping, severe depression, etc). Had his family not pushed him to think that he HAD to move back to take care of everything, we would still be (VERY) happily living in Kansas.
So, anyway, upon hearing all that, Travis told her to come downstairs to talk. I went down to the basement because I'm about 983% sure I would have outright killed her on the spot had I had to look at her at that moment. It took her three hours of calling her friends and telling them she was afraid to go downstairs because Travis "might have overheard" her. Eventually she did and they talked and agreed that it wasn't going to work out and that they were going to sell the house.
All fine and peachy, right?
Shit I wish. A few days later they had a 'family meeting' to discuss it all (and to discuss the new bill arrangement because until that point their mother's boyfriend was still living with us and he was getting ready to move out then anyhow). It was a total drama fest. They talked about it and she made this big deal about how we never did anything (yeah, I might add that we were the ONLY ones that did ANYTHING in the house...and we were also expected to buy ALL of the groceries...eventhough we were broke and trying to prepare for a baby) and she just couldn't live with us anymore. She said that "no matter what" she'd be moving out no later than the end of September (remember this, it'll come into play later).
Everything was discussed and "settled" (they decided to sell and started talking about who would be interested and all that crap). I also want to mention that during this discussion she mentioned that when she moved out she would be moving in with their grandparents. She never asked her grandparents about this, she just told them that she'd move in with them.
They also discussed the fact that they'd need to divide up the estate. Ooo yeah, more drama. She freaked out about the couches. There are two loveseat/couches that actually belonged to their mother's boyfriend. He had told us that he wanted us to have them because Travis's sister had already informed everyone that she was taking their mother's bedroom set. (Yes, informed...she never thought it was necessary to ask or discuss it with anyone. She just told us one day that she was taking them.) Well, when Travis mentioned that we were supposed to get them his sister started throwing a tantrum (and trust me, I do mean tantrum in every aspect of the word). She was literally throwing things (her phone, a glass, anything around her) and tried forcing her way past their grandmother to storm out of the room because SHE wasn't getting what SHE wanted. She did everything but outright say that she thought she deserved everything in the house because Travis had actually moved out and gotten a job and gotten some of his own stuff (mind you, he was military so most of the stuff he got was salvaged from people moving out of the barracks).
Woooosaaaaaaaaaaaaaa. Alright, I'm getting heated a bit, so instead of ranting more and more about this (too late, I know) I'll just go ahead and say that they re-divided the bills that night as well and instead of it being split three ways, which would have been fair (right?...right?) they split them up so we were paying three times as much as his sister. And eventhough we were paying so much more, they refused to drop some bills that we didn't need (because the HD TV was moving out with their mom's boyfriend and we didn't exactly need to pay out the ass for all the HD channels...or did we? Hell...I guess 'do we' would be more appropriate since we still do) because his sister didn't want to change anything. Can't blame her, she wasn't paying for them.
Okay...I know, deep breath. Enough about that day. It was a train wreck. But I was definitely excited at the prospect of her moving out.
Anyhow, early August came and our 'roommate' moved out. This meant that Travis and I finally got to move out of the un-heated/un-airconditioned/moldy/noisy/disaster basement. We were actually going to have a bedroom that didn't require me to climb a flight of crappy stairs everytime I woke up in the middle of the night to pee. We had our issues with that. Travis was expected to take apart the entire bedroom set that was in the room we were moving into, and move it upstairs for his sister...Of course that was after he took apart the entire set that was upstairs in her room and moved it outside to the garage. Because, really, she can't be expected to do anything for herself...right?
During this move we also cleaned out the "back room" which was the laundry room and the bedroom that we were moving in to. And yes I mean DEEP cleaned. We were washing walls, vacuuming three or four times, changing blinds, shampooing carpets (because the kitten had been living in the back room and apparently it had diarrea and had shit all over the floors and the entire room smelled so awful that I had to leave the windows open for weeks to air it out...yeah I forgot that part...way to leave the kitten in the room that was going to be for the BABY...the baby she tried stealing the name from!), and dusting every surface we could find (I swiffered the ceiling). We moved everything out of the back room (including the washer and dryer that had to be up there because their mom had MD and was not able to go up and down stairs to do laundry) and started moving our stuff into the bedroom.
It was amazing. We FINALLY had air conditioning. I'm pretty sure Travis was much happier with the air conditioning than he led on...because, well, have you ever smelled a pregnant woman in August without it? I think you get my drift.
Shortly after that whole ordeal, I found out that my insurance had dropped me. That was a whole new headache to deal with. My only option was to get on Medicaid. It was a hassle but I finally got it all worked out, got my paperwork and started calling around to find a new OB (because of course I went to one that didn't accept Medicaid).
NO ONE would take me. I was seriously starting to think I was going to have to hire a bum off the street to deliver my baby. Everyone I talked to said I was 'way too far along' for them to take me on as a patient. It was a nightmare. I was in tears, calling hundreds of doctors, just trying to find someone to help. Finally I found out that there was a hospital in the area that had a helpline to try to match people with doctors. The first woman I talked to was either on the rag or had a telephone pole shoved up her ass because she told me that the service was only for people that were 'not capable of making the phone calls for themselves' and hung up on me. It wasn't. I had been transferred there from the L&D operator (who was a sweetheart, by the way). So, I called her back to ask her again and she re-transferred me and made sure I was talking to someone who would help. I finally got set up with an appointment to see the intake lady at a local family practice two days later.
They sped me through the system to get me set up for my appointments (because at that point I was 37 weeks pregnant and HAD to figure shit out) and I got set up for an appointment. The doctor wanted to check growth and send me for an ultrasound.
Great right?
Well, okay, it kind of was because I got to see the little monkey, but it set me up for minor heart failure. Bella was measuring at almost nine pounds at 37 weeks. I went to my next appointment which was only a few days after the ultrasound and they told me I was a high risk for a C-Section because of how big she was measuring. That started the NST/US checkups. The next checkup said I wasn't measuring quite as big, but they still wanted to schedule an induction so she didn't get too big. They were not going to let me go past my due date. Definitely music to my ears (because hell yes I was done with being pregnant...they could've told me I was being induced right that minute and I probably would've kissed the damn doctor).
Induction was schedule for Sept 12th but on the night of the 8th I started hurting. It wasn't cramping like I had always expected, it was a shooting pain down my right leg and it felt like someone had just stabbed me in the gut. I dealt with it for awhile but at about 3am on the 9th I tried calling L&D. No one answered. I waited another half hour and said fuck it and we went in. I remember telling the nurses "Uhm, I don't think I'm in labor, but it really hurts". They hooked me up to the monitors and told me I was there for the long haul.
Since I'm about 95% sure I've already posted my birth story, I won't go into all the details again (if not, its not a pretty story and I won't bore you all with another long winded ramble just yet) but Bella was born on 09/09/09!
My parents came out to visit and stayed for two days (not NEARLY long enough). It was great. I loved getting to see them and i was so glad that they got to see Bella so soon. It was fun too because eventhough I was totally miserable and sore as hell, we took them out to both the Atlantic City and Ocean City boardwalks. Bella got to see the ocean (through the little plastic part on the hood that covered her carseat/stroller) when she was only 4 days old!
The first night we had Bella home the power went out for a couple hours (i think it was off for two). Travis and I were both losing our minds. We were using tea lights for light and ended up having to change our first dirty diaper at home in the dark. Of course as soon as we got the diaper fastened (and I mean immediately when we fastened it) the lights came back on. So much fun.
Well...the end of September came and went (remember what was supposed to happen then?) with nothing exciting happening. My birthday was uneventful and we kicked off the beginning of October with Travis's equally uneventful birthday. I felt awful that I couldn't do anything special for him, but I was still a total mess at that point.
In mid-october his sister's girlfriend moved in. By thanksgiving she had finally told their family and they were (thankfully) splitting bills evenly between the four of us. By then things were FINALLY starting to get a little better around the house (although I still have fantasies about what it'd be like to have our own place again).
Things were pretty uneventful after that. Up until our trip out here to Kansas, that is. But you can all read about that in the other long-ass post below. For now I am thinking that it's about time to wrap up. It's 1:30, Bella's been asleep for a couple hours now, and I have to be up early tomorrow. If you're read through all of this, please come here and slap me...just don't wake me up to do it.
Night night.
Well, we found out I was pregnant on New Years of 2009. The test was so faint (and, I'll admit it, I was kind of in denial) and I wanted to be 110% positive, so I took a second (okay, a fifth) test on Jan 2nd. It was a digital and there was NO denying the word "POSITIVE" that was staring me in the face.
I'll admit...I cried. I was scared shitless. Travis on the other hand was bouncing (and I mean literally bouncing like a kid on caffeine) around the apartment. He was giddy and I was a wreck. We were already preparing for our move and I was trying to wrap my head around moving away from Kansas for the first time in my life, and the thought of having a small person starting to grow inside of me was too much for my brain to handle at the time. Luckily I called my family and they were so supportive from the start.
Two weeks later (Jan 15th) we were packed and on the road to New Jersey. It was my first long road trip and I'm proud to say that I handled it much better than I expected. I think the one thing that helped more than anything was having friends and family that were willing to spend hours on the phone (don't worry I had a bluetooth thingy) keeping me awake and entertained. It took three days (we took breaks...we were in seperate vehicles and I could not have made that drive without taking breaks) and when we got in it was about midnight out there. We were exhausted from the trip and brought in only what we absolutely needed (and the cat...she wasn't a fan of the car ride). We knew all along that we'd be staying in the basement but it would have been nice if someone would have thought to at least clear a spot on the floor for us to put the air mattress. It was probably below freezing in the basement that night (no, not exagerating, we had an air mattress that slowly deflated throughout the night on a concrete floor) and it was miserable. I think I MIGHT have gotten about an hour of sleep that night. Not the best experience of my life, but I lived. :P
Things were rough to start after the move...
Okay that's a bit of an understatement...and possibily sugarcoated a little. Okay a lot.
It was hell. There was constant drama with Travis's sister, there was issues with finances because neither of us could find work out there (yeah, big A+ to moving to a state that the recession hit headon like a fucking train), and I didn't know anyone other than Travis's friends and family, so the stress of being pregnant and being in a new place was awful.
About mid-February we finally told Travis's family that I was pregnant. It didn't go over so well. As a matter of fact, most of his family made me feel awful, like I was supposed to "take it back". The whole ordeal still bothers me. His grandmother actually walked out of the room saying "No..No..Not yet. No." Ugh. Pisses me off.
The usual drama persisted throughout Spring. I missed my father's 50th birthday and my little sister's graduation (they were within a week of each other) because we were stuck in Jersey waiting to hear back from a 'family friend' about a job for Travis. He had turned down a job that I had a chance to work with him because he was supposed to be making more on his own than we would've made together. Well, the guy had work for him for a grand total of about 30 hours over the course of three weeks...and then he just stopped calling. And because Travis didn't want to disappoint his family and upset this family friend we sat and waited and waited and waited for him to fucking call. Two weeks later he finally called and said that he just didn't have enough work and that he had to let Travis go. Fucking ass.
Okay...Wooo Saaawwwwww. This is getting me a little heated. I'll try to calm down.
Moving on.
In early June I discovered theBump and found at least a little sanity. I finally had people to talk about my pregnancy with. By that point the initial excitement of me being pregnant had worn off for Travis and he was starting to get stressed out and was sick of hearing about it. He won't admit it, but I know it's true.
Also in June we took a road trip up to Maine for Travis's friend's wedding. It was so beautiful up there. If I'm ever rich, I will own a house up in the mountains in Maine to visit in the summertime (because I'm a wuss when it comes to winter). Absolutely gorgeous. Its been almost seventh months since then and I am still dumbfounded by how amazing the landscape was up there. I can't wait to go back, even if its just for a visit.
On July 4th we flew out to Kansas to visit my family (FINALLY). It was a tiny ass plane but by far the easiest flight I've ever been on. The airports were EMPTY. Flying while all fat and stuff was interesting...people in the airport were definitely nicer to me when I was pregnant.
The visit to KS was nice but while we were here we got a phone call from one of Travis's friends. She was informing us that Travis's sister's girlfriend had got a kitten, but found out her mother was "deathly allergic" and they couldn't keep it at their house, so it would be staying with us. o.O I bit my tongue for a little while but on the trip back to the airport I was venting to my parents (we both were, honestly...Travis wasn't too happy about it either) and I brought up that her girlfriend had already told us that her mother was allergic to cats and that's why she couldn't have a cat.
Okay...(Deep breath)
Well, we got back alright and "met" the kitten. It was cute, but Travis brought it up to his sister that he 'thought he remembered' her girlfriend mentioning that her mom was allergic to cats in the past. His sister merely responded with "yeah, but she wanted one". Again..o.O Apparently in New Jersey you get what you want...screw everyone else.
Annnnnnyway. Again I bit my tongue because at that point there was absolutely no talking to anyone. I knew if I had said anything it'd start a fight...and I was trying to avoid having to deal with any extra drama. Well, the extra drama came anyway because Travis asked what the kittens name was.... Oh yeah, this is where it gets good. Bella. The name we had told EVERYONE that we were using when we found out we were having a girl (which, by the way, was in May). As a matter of fact, we had told everyone our name choices from the start. It was Isabella Reese (Bella for short) for a girl, and Jace (probably J for short) Xavier for a boy.
Yep, I was livid but again, I kept my mouth shut until I could talk to Travis privately...which happened later that night. I told him that yes it pissed me off and he needed to talk to her. So he did.
That's when World War III started.
He went upstairs to talk to her and said that things went "alright" but we stepped outside to get some fresh air because A- I was still (more than) a little homicidal and B- the basement always smelled funky. When we were coming back in we could hear her upstairs on the phone crying and yelling about us. I'm going to use direct quotes here because this shit REALLY pissed me off. We heard the following, word for word (because it pissed me off that much that I remember it all word for word): "They're ruining everything. They're trying to take the best part of my life away." (Seriously? I kitten is the best part of your life?) "I'm sick of them. They don't do anything around the house. I have to do everything and they're just trying to make me miserable. The only reason they're here is because she got pregnant and they didn't have anywhere else to go."
...Okay, to understand why I was ready to march up the stairs and break her neck, I'll explain something. The ONLY reason we moved to New Jersey was because Travis's mother died and his family was putting a huge guilt trip on him to move out and help take care of the estate and HIS SISTER. I had an apartment that I was perfectly happy with. Travis was in the military but had to get out because they "really needed" him there and the stress they were putting on him was causing serious issues for him (not sleeping, severe depression, etc). Had his family not pushed him to think that he HAD to move back to take care of everything, we would still be (VERY) happily living in Kansas.
So, anyway, upon hearing all that, Travis told her to come downstairs to talk. I went down to the basement because I'm about 983% sure I would have outright killed her on the spot had I had to look at her at that moment. It took her three hours of calling her friends and telling them she was afraid to go downstairs because Travis "might have overheard" her. Eventually she did and they talked and agreed that it wasn't going to work out and that they were going to sell the house.
All fine and peachy, right?
Shit I wish. A few days later they had a 'family meeting' to discuss it all (and to discuss the new bill arrangement because until that point their mother's boyfriend was still living with us and he was getting ready to move out then anyhow). It was a total drama fest. They talked about it and she made this big deal about how we never did anything (yeah, I might add that we were the ONLY ones that did ANYTHING in the house...and we were also expected to buy ALL of the groceries...eventhough we were broke and trying to prepare for a baby) and she just couldn't live with us anymore. She said that "no matter what" she'd be moving out no later than the end of September (remember this, it'll come into play later).
Everything was discussed and "settled" (they decided to sell and started talking about who would be interested and all that crap). I also want to mention that during this discussion she mentioned that when she moved out she would be moving in with their grandparents. She never asked her grandparents about this, she just told them that she'd move in with them.
They also discussed the fact that they'd need to divide up the estate. Ooo yeah, more drama. She freaked out about the couches. There are two loveseat/couches that actually belonged to their mother's boyfriend. He had told us that he wanted us to have them because Travis's sister had already informed everyone that she was taking their mother's bedroom set. (Yes, informed...she never thought it was necessary to ask or discuss it with anyone. She just told us one day that she was taking them.) Well, when Travis mentioned that we were supposed to get them his sister started throwing a tantrum (and trust me, I do mean tantrum in every aspect of the word). She was literally throwing things (her phone, a glass, anything around her) and tried forcing her way past their grandmother to storm out of the room because SHE wasn't getting what SHE wanted. She did everything but outright say that she thought she deserved everything in the house because Travis had actually moved out and gotten a job and gotten some of his own stuff (mind you, he was military so most of the stuff he got was salvaged from people moving out of the barracks).
Woooosaaaaaaaaaaaaaa. Alright, I'm getting heated a bit, so instead of ranting more and more about this (too late, I know) I'll just go ahead and say that they re-divided the bills that night as well and instead of it being split three ways, which would have been fair (right?...right?) they split them up so we were paying three times as much as his sister. And eventhough we were paying so much more, they refused to drop some bills that we didn't need (because the HD TV was moving out with their mom's boyfriend and we didn't exactly need to pay out the ass for all the HD channels...or did we? Hell...I guess 'do we' would be more appropriate since we still do) because his sister didn't want to change anything. Can't blame her, she wasn't paying for them.
Okay...I know, deep breath. Enough about that day. It was a train wreck. But I was definitely excited at the prospect of her moving out.
Anyhow, early August came and our 'roommate' moved out. This meant that Travis and I finally got to move out of the un-heated/un-airconditioned/moldy/noisy/disaster basement. We were actually going to have a bedroom that didn't require me to climb a flight of crappy stairs everytime I woke up in the middle of the night to pee. We had our issues with that. Travis was expected to take apart the entire bedroom set that was in the room we were moving into, and move it upstairs for his sister...Of course that was after he took apart the entire set that was upstairs in her room and moved it outside to the garage. Because, really, she can't be expected to do anything for herself...right?
During this move we also cleaned out the "back room" which was the laundry room and the bedroom that we were moving in to. And yes I mean DEEP cleaned. We were washing walls, vacuuming three or four times, changing blinds, shampooing carpets (because the kitten had been living in the back room and apparently it had diarrea and had shit all over the floors and the entire room smelled so awful that I had to leave the windows open for weeks to air it out...yeah I forgot that part...way to leave the kitten in the room that was going to be for the BABY...the baby she tried stealing the name from!), and dusting every surface we could find (I swiffered the ceiling). We moved everything out of the back room (including the washer and dryer that had to be up there because their mom had MD and was not able to go up and down stairs to do laundry) and started moving our stuff into the bedroom.
It was amazing. We FINALLY had air conditioning. I'm pretty sure Travis was much happier with the air conditioning than he led on...because, well, have you ever smelled a pregnant woman in August without it? I think you get my drift.
Shortly after that whole ordeal, I found out that my insurance had dropped me. That was a whole new headache to deal with. My only option was to get on Medicaid. It was a hassle but I finally got it all worked out, got my paperwork and started calling around to find a new OB (because of course I went to one that didn't accept Medicaid).
NO ONE would take me. I was seriously starting to think I was going to have to hire a bum off the street to deliver my baby. Everyone I talked to said I was 'way too far along' for them to take me on as a patient. It was a nightmare. I was in tears, calling hundreds of doctors, just trying to find someone to help. Finally I found out that there was a hospital in the area that had a helpline to try to match people with doctors. The first woman I talked to was either on the rag or had a telephone pole shoved up her ass because she told me that the service was only for people that were 'not capable of making the phone calls for themselves' and hung up on me. It wasn't. I had been transferred there from the L&D operator (who was a sweetheart, by the way). So, I called her back to ask her again and she re-transferred me and made sure I was talking to someone who would help. I finally got set up with an appointment to see the intake lady at a local family practice two days later.
They sped me through the system to get me set up for my appointments (because at that point I was 37 weeks pregnant and HAD to figure shit out) and I got set up for an appointment. The doctor wanted to check growth and send me for an ultrasound.
Great right?
Well, okay, it kind of was because I got to see the little monkey, but it set me up for minor heart failure. Bella was measuring at almost nine pounds at 37 weeks. I went to my next appointment which was only a few days after the ultrasound and they told me I was a high risk for a C-Section because of how big she was measuring. That started the NST/US checkups. The next checkup said I wasn't measuring quite as big, but they still wanted to schedule an induction so she didn't get too big. They were not going to let me go past my due date. Definitely music to my ears (because hell yes I was done with being pregnant...they could've told me I was being induced right that minute and I probably would've kissed the damn doctor).
Induction was schedule for Sept 12th but on the night of the 8th I started hurting. It wasn't cramping like I had always expected, it was a shooting pain down my right leg and it felt like someone had just stabbed me in the gut. I dealt with it for awhile but at about 3am on the 9th I tried calling L&D. No one answered. I waited another half hour and said fuck it and we went in. I remember telling the nurses "Uhm, I don't think I'm in labor, but it really hurts". They hooked me up to the monitors and told me I was there for the long haul.
Since I'm about 95% sure I've already posted my birth story, I won't go into all the details again (if not, its not a pretty story and I won't bore you all with another long winded ramble just yet) but Bella was born on 09/09/09!
My parents came out to visit and stayed for two days (not NEARLY long enough). It was great. I loved getting to see them and i was so glad that they got to see Bella so soon. It was fun too because eventhough I was totally miserable and sore as hell, we took them out to both the Atlantic City and Ocean City boardwalks. Bella got to see the ocean (through the little plastic part on the hood that covered her carseat/stroller) when she was only 4 days old!
The first night we had Bella home the power went out for a couple hours (i think it was off for two). Travis and I were both losing our minds. We were using tea lights for light and ended up having to change our first dirty diaper at home in the dark. Of course as soon as we got the diaper fastened (and I mean immediately when we fastened it) the lights came back on. So much fun.
Well...the end of September came and went (remember what was supposed to happen then?) with nothing exciting happening. My birthday was uneventful and we kicked off the beginning of October with Travis's equally uneventful birthday. I felt awful that I couldn't do anything special for him, but I was still a total mess at that point.
In mid-october his sister's girlfriend moved in. By thanksgiving she had finally told their family and they were (thankfully) splitting bills evenly between the four of us. By then things were FINALLY starting to get a little better around the house (although I still have fantasies about what it'd be like to have our own place again).
Things were pretty uneventful after that. Up until our trip out here to Kansas, that is. But you can all read about that in the other long-ass post below. For now I am thinking that it's about time to wrap up. It's 1:30, Bella's been asleep for a couple hours now, and I have to be up early tomorrow. If you're read through all of this, please come here and slap me...just don't wake me up to do it.
Night night.
December 29, 2009
I love Kansas...
If for nothing else, its amazing having other people around who want to help out with Bella. I don't constantly feel like I'm pushing her off on someone, just so I can breathe!
A Christmas to remember...
This year was Bella's first Christmas...and it was definitely one to remember.
We left from New Jersey on Wednesday at about 10:30AM. We knew we were going to be driving and I had been dreading it ever since we decided that it'd be cheaper (it really was, and its probably a good thing we did, with all the delays at the local airports out there). The first day wasn't bad at all. We made a few stops but we drove until about 1AM. That's when Travis decided that it was time to find a hotel and stop for the night so we could get some rest. I wanted to keep going (I was wired because it was the first time in a year that I had a Full Throttle...I LOVE those), but with checkout time being at 11 at most hotels, we wanted to be able to relax a little bit and actually get some rest before we had to head back out on the road.
Neither of us got much sleep. Bella had slept a good part of the drive (when she wasn't being a fusspot because she's not real fond of her carseat...at least not for long periods) and was ready to be awake for awhile. She slept for about two or three hours after we got her settled and then was up and fussing about every hour for a few more hours before we gave up.
We were slow to get started because we were both tired. Once we got everything loaded back into the car (it was ridiculously cold out and we had to lug a lot of stuff into the hotel room, because there was a bunch of stuff we didn't want to freeze in the car), got breakfast, and got back on the road, it was about 11AM again. Bella slept better in the car again, but got to be pretty fussy throughout the day.
The weather wasn't too bad for us until we hit mid-Missouri. It had been cold but we started hitting the east side of the blizzard. The roads got nasty FAST. I think we literally drove into a wall of ice. I felt bad that Travis had to drive through the whole storm, but I was not comfortable driving in it, especially with all the cars we saw that had slid off the road.
We took it really slow for the rest of the trip. I think 40mph was our top speed after hitting Kansas City. That's when we hit the snow. It was NASTY out, but we slowly made our way. There were a few times that I was almost in tears because I was freaked out. It wouldn't have been so bad but the wind was blowing the snow up and making it hard to see. I don't know how Travis kept the car on the road some of the time, because we literally couldn't see a foot in front of the car...but we were out in the middle of nowhere by the time, so there really wasn't an option to just pull off and stop somewhere.
Once we hit a small town about 12 miles from my hometown we got stuck. And I don't mean that we finally gave up on driving through the storm, I mean that we hit a snowdrift in the road that my car couldn't get through. We couldn't back up, couldn't go forward, we were just stuck, on the wrong side of the road, at 2am, ONLY TWELVE MILES FROM HOME. Mind you, this is after driving 1250 miles...
I was freaked out. I'm surprised the "oh shit" handle on my car didn't fall off, considering how tight I was holding on to it.
Luckily, the drift we hit was actually in the town. I called my parents and they tried to come over in their blazer to get us (they have four wheel drive, so they thought they'd be able to make it). I got a phone call a few minutes later saying that they weren't going to be able to make it, but my little sister's friend's dad was going to come see if he could get us out. They lived in the town that we were stuck in and he worked for the city, so he was going to see what he could do.
While we were waiting for him, a cop spotted us and tried to get to us, but he got his SUV partially stuck trying to get to us. He ended up walking through the snowdrift to us to talk to us. As soon as he saw that we had an infant in the car he called in the troops. Between him and the guy that was originally coming out to help, they had 6 or 7 people out there digging us out. The only vehicles that could get close were the plow and the grater.
The cop said that the local hotel was full (yeah small town area and there is only one hotel) and they didn't want to try to take us across town anyway, so my little sister's friend's dad said that we could stay with them. I felt really awkward because I had never met any of her family before, and I felt awful since it was Christmas and I was going to be intruding...let alone the fact that it was our fault that he got out of bed at 2am and I didn't know anyone except his daughter.
Well, they got us un-stuck and we started following him back to his house. It was slow because the roads had been grated but they were still nasty (the wind was horrible and was just blowing the snow right back across the roads). We got about 3/4 of the way there and got stuck again. It wasn't nearly as bad. We had just been driving in his tracks (he had a big 4WD truck and had no problem) but we hit another drift that was just too big for us. Travis got us backed up and he tried to drive over the drift a few times to pack it down, but it didn't work. So he ended up hooking up a chain to the front of the car and pulling us through.
We got to their house and he had us park in his neighbor's drive (they aren't living there right now and he said it'd be better than leaving my car in the street). Once we got everything we needed (and everything that could freeze) unloaded, we started getting warm and trying to get Bella ready to at least get a little more sleep.
She wasn't having that. She had slept for quite awhile and was ready to play again. Luckily my little sister's friend said she was wide awake and offered to play with Bella for awhile so we could get some rest. I wanted to hug her, but I was so exhausted that I couldn't.
Unfortunately that didn't last long either, because Bella got really fussy for her and she didn't know what to do. I got her fed and changed again and she finally went back to sleep for a little bit. It only lasted about two-three hours, but when she woke up my sister's friend came back out and offered to take her for awhile again. I slept for about another hour and then went downstairs to hang out, because I knew getting more sleep was out of the question. (By that time it was about 8AM.)
That's when I met her mom. It was not nearly as uncomfortable as I expected because their other kids were stuck in Topeka because of the storm and they were all sorts of excited to have company, especially a baby. I got to hang out and relax while they were playing with Bella and keeping her entertained. She got a little fussy but not too bad. Travis slept in until 1pm. I wanted to wake him up because I was more than a little jealous of him getting to sleep in, but I knew he needed his rest from driving through the storm the night before.
We were there until about 3pm when my parents were finally able to make it over to pick us up. They said the roads were still too bad to try to bring my car, so we had to load anything we could up in the blazer and leave my car where it was until the roads were better. We had to leave a few things in the car, but not much.
My sisters, nephews, and brother in law were all waiting for us when we got home. I was excited to see them all but I had been so stressed out that my mom and I went straight to the kitchen for a shot. My mom had brought Bella in the house while I helped unload the blazer and by the time I made it in the house my older sister had already stole Bella and was cuddling her. It was so nice to know that there were other people there to help with her so I could just relax for awhile. (I had help that morning, but I felt awkward since I didn't really know anyone except my sister's friend...and eventhough I trusted her it felt like I was pushing my kid off on her.)
I barely saw my own daughter that evening. We ate dinner, played with my nephews, got settled and opened presents and all I really did with Bella was give her a bath and open presents. I felt bad though because she was still kind of a grump from being in the carseat for so long, but at least they were finally getting to meet her!
The rest of the night went alright. She was kind of a fusspot but she had been awake most of the day so she went to bed at a somewhat normal time and slept pretty well. The next day Travis and my dad went over to get the car since the roads had been cleared out quite a bit.
Since then Bella has returned to her usual goofy self. She loves having people talk to her and will sit there and just coo and giggle when people make funny noises at her. I'm happy that we get to stay here until the 8th or so, but I am already dreading the ride back to New Jersey and I'm honestly more than a little worried about the well-being of my cat, who is currently being taken care of by Travis's sister. She's got an automatic feeder and water dish, but it'll need filled at least twice while we're gone and his sister has trouble remembering to feed her own cats. I've been bugging Travis to keep asking her how Duckie is doing because if my cat doesn't have food or water or acts like she's been neglected when I get back, there will be hell to pay.
Blah. Okay, so I guess that's enough of an update for now. I SHOULD go to bed, but I think I'm going to go browse the web some more because I've had a lot of caffeine today and I finally got rid of my headache!
We left from New Jersey on Wednesday at about 10:30AM. We knew we were going to be driving and I had been dreading it ever since we decided that it'd be cheaper (it really was, and its probably a good thing we did, with all the delays at the local airports out there). The first day wasn't bad at all. We made a few stops but we drove until about 1AM. That's when Travis decided that it was time to find a hotel and stop for the night so we could get some rest. I wanted to keep going (I was wired because it was the first time in a year that I had a Full Throttle...I LOVE those), but with checkout time being at 11 at most hotels, we wanted to be able to relax a little bit and actually get some rest before we had to head back out on the road.
Neither of us got much sleep. Bella had slept a good part of the drive (when she wasn't being a fusspot because she's not real fond of her carseat...at least not for long periods) and was ready to be awake for awhile. She slept for about two or three hours after we got her settled and then was up and fussing about every hour for a few more hours before we gave up.
We were slow to get started because we were both tired. Once we got everything loaded back into the car (it was ridiculously cold out and we had to lug a lot of stuff into the hotel room, because there was a bunch of stuff we didn't want to freeze in the car), got breakfast, and got back on the road, it was about 11AM again. Bella slept better in the car again, but got to be pretty fussy throughout the day.
The weather wasn't too bad for us until we hit mid-Missouri. It had been cold but we started hitting the east side of the blizzard. The roads got nasty FAST. I think we literally drove into a wall of ice. I felt bad that Travis had to drive through the whole storm, but I was not comfortable driving in it, especially with all the cars we saw that had slid off the road.
We took it really slow for the rest of the trip. I think 40mph was our top speed after hitting Kansas City. That's when we hit the snow. It was NASTY out, but we slowly made our way. There were a few times that I was almost in tears because I was freaked out. It wouldn't have been so bad but the wind was blowing the snow up and making it hard to see. I don't know how Travis kept the car on the road some of the time, because we literally couldn't see a foot in front of the car...but we were out in the middle of nowhere by the time, so there really wasn't an option to just pull off and stop somewhere.
Once we hit a small town about 12 miles from my hometown we got stuck. And I don't mean that we finally gave up on driving through the storm, I mean that we hit a snowdrift in the road that my car couldn't get through. We couldn't back up, couldn't go forward, we were just stuck, on the wrong side of the road, at 2am, ONLY TWELVE MILES FROM HOME. Mind you, this is after driving 1250 miles...
I was freaked out. I'm surprised the "oh shit" handle on my car didn't fall off, considering how tight I was holding on to it.
Luckily, the drift we hit was actually in the town. I called my parents and they tried to come over in their blazer to get us (they have four wheel drive, so they thought they'd be able to make it). I got a phone call a few minutes later saying that they weren't going to be able to make it, but my little sister's friend's dad was going to come see if he could get us out. They lived in the town that we were stuck in and he worked for the city, so he was going to see what he could do.
While we were waiting for him, a cop spotted us and tried to get to us, but he got his SUV partially stuck trying to get to us. He ended up walking through the snowdrift to us to talk to us. As soon as he saw that we had an infant in the car he called in the troops. Between him and the guy that was originally coming out to help, they had 6 or 7 people out there digging us out. The only vehicles that could get close were the plow and the grater.
The cop said that the local hotel was full (yeah small town area and there is only one hotel) and they didn't want to try to take us across town anyway, so my little sister's friend's dad said that we could stay with them. I felt really awkward because I had never met any of her family before, and I felt awful since it was Christmas and I was going to be intruding...let alone the fact that it was our fault that he got out of bed at 2am and I didn't know anyone except his daughter.
Well, they got us un-stuck and we started following him back to his house. It was slow because the roads had been grated but they were still nasty (the wind was horrible and was just blowing the snow right back across the roads). We got about 3/4 of the way there and got stuck again. It wasn't nearly as bad. We had just been driving in his tracks (he had a big 4WD truck and had no problem) but we hit another drift that was just too big for us. Travis got us backed up and he tried to drive over the drift a few times to pack it down, but it didn't work. So he ended up hooking up a chain to the front of the car and pulling us through.
We got to their house and he had us park in his neighbor's drive (they aren't living there right now and he said it'd be better than leaving my car in the street). Once we got everything we needed (and everything that could freeze) unloaded, we started getting warm and trying to get Bella ready to at least get a little more sleep.
She wasn't having that. She had slept for quite awhile and was ready to play again. Luckily my little sister's friend said she was wide awake and offered to play with Bella for awhile so we could get some rest. I wanted to hug her, but I was so exhausted that I couldn't.
Unfortunately that didn't last long either, because Bella got really fussy for her and she didn't know what to do. I got her fed and changed again and she finally went back to sleep for a little bit. It only lasted about two-three hours, but when she woke up my sister's friend came back out and offered to take her for awhile again. I slept for about another hour and then went downstairs to hang out, because I knew getting more sleep was out of the question. (By that time it was about 8AM.)
That's when I met her mom. It was not nearly as uncomfortable as I expected because their other kids were stuck in Topeka because of the storm and they were all sorts of excited to have company, especially a baby. I got to hang out and relax while they were playing with Bella and keeping her entertained. She got a little fussy but not too bad. Travis slept in until 1pm. I wanted to wake him up because I was more than a little jealous of him getting to sleep in, but I knew he needed his rest from driving through the storm the night before.
We were there until about 3pm when my parents were finally able to make it over to pick us up. They said the roads were still too bad to try to bring my car, so we had to load anything we could up in the blazer and leave my car where it was until the roads were better. We had to leave a few things in the car, but not much.
My sisters, nephews, and brother in law were all waiting for us when we got home. I was excited to see them all but I had been so stressed out that my mom and I went straight to the kitchen for a shot. My mom had brought Bella in the house while I helped unload the blazer and by the time I made it in the house my older sister had already stole Bella and was cuddling her. It was so nice to know that there were other people there to help with her so I could just relax for awhile. (I had help that morning, but I felt awkward since I didn't really know anyone except my sister's friend...and eventhough I trusted her it felt like I was pushing my kid off on her.)
I barely saw my own daughter that evening. We ate dinner, played with my nephews, got settled and opened presents and all I really did with Bella was give her a bath and open presents. I felt bad though because she was still kind of a grump from being in the carseat for so long, but at least they were finally getting to meet her!
The rest of the night went alright. She was kind of a fusspot but she had been awake most of the day so she went to bed at a somewhat normal time and slept pretty well. The next day Travis and my dad went over to get the car since the roads had been cleared out quite a bit.
Since then Bella has returned to her usual goofy self. She loves having people talk to her and will sit there and just coo and giggle when people make funny noises at her. I'm happy that we get to stay here until the 8th or so, but I am already dreading the ride back to New Jersey and I'm honestly more than a little worried about the well-being of my cat, who is currently being taken care of by Travis's sister. She's got an automatic feeder and water dish, but it'll need filled at least twice while we're gone and his sister has trouble remembering to feed her own cats. I've been bugging Travis to keep asking her how Duckie is doing because if my cat doesn't have food or water or acts like she's been neglected when I get back, there will be hell to pay.
Blah. Okay, so I guess that's enough of an update for now. I SHOULD go to bed, but I think I'm going to go browse the web some more because I've had a lot of caffeine today and I finally got rid of my headache!
So much for making my blog pretty...
Well so much for making my blog pretty. Apparently the Adsense stuff doesn't want to work with the HTML coding that I used. :( That makes me a little sad because I worked hard on getting it the way I wanted it!
Hmph.
Oh well. I guess its back to trolling the internet to find a setup that I like. Hopefully I'll have it looking decent again here soon.
Anyway, I guess I should go ahead and update...but I'll do that later. I'm kind of anal retentive when it comes to how this thing looks. I have no idea why.
Hmph.
Oh well. I guess its back to trolling the internet to find a setup that I like. Hopefully I'll have it looking decent again here soon.
Anyway, I guess I should go ahead and update...but I'll do that later. I'm kind of anal retentive when it comes to how this thing looks. I have no idea why.
December 21, 2009
Ditched Disposables!
This event is great! I've never done a giveaway before, so I'm keeping my fingers crossed that I win. I'm so excited to try to get started cloth diapering!
December 20, 2009
YAYYYYYYYYYYYY!
So, I've been so excited about the thought of trying cloth diapers...but they're so expensive! Wellllll...today I found a lot of cloth diapers on ebay for $15. There's 8 of them and everything looked good, sooooo I am going to try them. If nothing else, its not several hundred dollars wasted, and if they do work, then hell yeah!
Woo!!! Now...unfortunately it'll be between 18-30 days til I get them...but I'm so excited!!! ::happy dance::
Woo!!! Now...unfortunately it'll be between 18-30 days til I get them...but I'm so excited!!! ::happy dance::
Babies watching TV...
Okay, so I know some people have started freaking out about letting babies watch TV, but I want to say one thing to those people.
Go to hell.
There are days where Bella will fuss for hours. I can change her, feed her, play with her, walk around, etc etc etc...and NOTHING helps. So if she calms down and starts laughing/cooing when she sees the TV, then damnit she's going to watch TV for a little bit. I'd rather have her watch TV for a few minutes and be happy than have her scream for hours on end and not be able to do ANYTHING about it.
So, in summary, if you don't want to let your child watch TV, that's fine, that's your choice. But I'm not going to let my baby cry until she's blue in the face if she just wants some pretty colors to look at.
Go to hell.
There are days where Bella will fuss for hours. I can change her, feed her, play with her, walk around, etc etc etc...and NOTHING helps. So if she calms down and starts laughing/cooing when she sees the TV, then damnit she's going to watch TV for a little bit. I'd rather have her watch TV for a few minutes and be happy than have her scream for hours on end and not be able to do ANYTHING about it.
So, in summary, if you don't want to let your child watch TV, that's fine, that's your choice. But I'm not going to let my baby cry until she's blue in the face if she just wants some pretty colors to look at.
December 19, 2009
Redesigned...
Just spent all day redesigning this stupid blog. I'm so irritated right now. I am going to have nightmares about HTML tonight.
What really sucks is that its still under construction and I can't figure out how to add any more ads. I usually hate them, but I'm hoping to make a little money off this damn thing.
Grrrrrrrrrrr.
I need a stiff drink.
What really sucks is that its still under construction and I can't figure out how to add any more ads. I usually hate them, but I'm hoping to make a little money off this damn thing.
Grrrrrrrrrrr.
I need a stiff drink.
December 18, 2009
Unpopular opinions and confessions
I cringe every time someone says "yous". It seems totally normal out here and it drives me batty. "What are yous guys doing?" makes you sound like an uneducated fool.
It irritates me when I see people dress their babies in jeans that cut into their little tummies. It looks so uncomfortable and makes the baby look like its shaped funny.
I'm not a fan of all the jungle themed baby decor that was EVERYWHERE when we were preparing for Bella. All I ever saw was little cartoon giraffes, lions, and elephants. Now, don't get me wrong, I love the monkey stuff that's out there, but it seems like everything has all kinds of animals all over it. It just irks me.
I like watching Jersey Shore on MTV (well I watch it online during the daytime because Travis hates it) just because it shows how stupid some people out here are. No matter what some people will try to tell you, there ARE a LOT of people out here that act like that. Don't believe the whole 'oh, people don't really are like that here' bullshit. They do. Travis used to be like some of those idiots. I've said it many times before, but if I had met him before he joined the military, I probably wouldn't have gone near him, let alone talk to him or date him.
I've been debating on just staying in Kansas when we go back for the holidays. I guess I'm just so sick of it here that I need my friends and family around. I feel like Travis is the only one who can help me. All of his family have given me the "if you need anything, we're always here for you" crap, but thats exactly what it is, crap. Not a single person that has said they're going to come visit or whatever ever has. Every person in his family has said that they wanted to stop by and see Bella but they don't. I don't get a break. Ever. Travis is the only one who can take Bella off my hands for a little bit and I feel awful making him take her sometimes because I know he's tired and he does so much for us. I guess it pisses me off that his family expects us to cart Bella all over South Jersey to see them so they can play with her, but the second we need anyone, everyone disappears.
Sometimes, if I'm getting emotional about something, all I want to do is cuddle with Bella. I've picked her up out of her crib (when she was sleeping) a couple times because I got super hormonal and wanted to hold her.
I wish I could change the amount of time that the bouncy seat will vibrate for. Sometimes Bella will wake up as soon as it stop vibrating and I just want her to sleep longer.
It irritates me when I see people dress their babies in jeans that cut into their little tummies. It looks so uncomfortable and makes the baby look like its shaped funny.
I'm not a fan of all the jungle themed baby decor that was EVERYWHERE when we were preparing for Bella. All I ever saw was little cartoon giraffes, lions, and elephants. Now, don't get me wrong, I love the monkey stuff that's out there, but it seems like everything has all kinds of animals all over it. It just irks me.
I like watching Jersey Shore on MTV (well I watch it online during the daytime because Travis hates it) just because it shows how stupid some people out here are. No matter what some people will try to tell you, there ARE a LOT of people out here that act like that. Don't believe the whole 'oh, people don't really are like that here' bullshit. They do. Travis used to be like some of those idiots. I've said it many times before, but if I had met him before he joined the military, I probably wouldn't have gone near him, let alone talk to him or date him.
I've been debating on just staying in Kansas when we go back for the holidays. I guess I'm just so sick of it here that I need my friends and family around. I feel like Travis is the only one who can help me. All of his family have given me the "if you need anything, we're always here for you" crap, but thats exactly what it is, crap. Not a single person that has said they're going to come visit or whatever ever has. Every person in his family has said that they wanted to stop by and see Bella but they don't. I don't get a break. Ever. Travis is the only one who can take Bella off my hands for a little bit and I feel awful making him take her sometimes because I know he's tired and he does so much for us. I guess it pisses me off that his family expects us to cart Bella all over South Jersey to see them so they can play with her, but the second we need anyone, everyone disappears.
Sometimes, if I'm getting emotional about something, all I want to do is cuddle with Bella. I've picked her up out of her crib (when she was sleeping) a couple times because I got super hormonal and wanted to hold her.
I wish I could change the amount of time that the bouncy seat will vibrate for. Sometimes Bella will wake up as soon as it stop vibrating and I just want her to sleep longer.
December 17, 2009
What I honestly would REALLY love for X-mas.
Okay, so I'm always so happy to get any gifts at all, especially with how the economy is. I know money is tight for everyone, but there are a few things that I would absolutely love if I got for Christmas (or I'd get myself if I could afford it)...
Cloth diapers. I really want to start using cloth diapers for Bella but its just so expensive to get started. Travis isn't 100% on board with the idea, but he's not totally against it either. He knows it'd save a lot of money and he thinks they're cute, but he's admitted that he's afraid to change a cloth diaper if its dirty. lol I would be nervous about it at first. It'd take some getting used to, but I would be fine with it. Also, and I can't believe that I'm about to admit this, I've started warming up to the idea of having more than one kid. Ugh, I wince everytime I thinkt hat. Anyhow, cloth diapers would save us a LOT if we had them for a second baby, too. I am NOT saying that another baby is in the plans, at least not for quite awhile, but IF it happens, then we'd have them!
Glass bottles. We have a set of three 4oz glass bottles and I LOVE them. I dont know why, really, but I definitely love them. I've tried to convince Travis that we need more, but for some reason he likes the plastic. It irritates me because (and I'm going to go there again...I'll curse myself later) I would be okay with keeping the glass bottles...plastic...not so much.
A computer desk/office area. I love being organized, but I can NOT share a desk with Travis. He is such a mess sometimes. I miss having my own office area and being able to keep things organized. It makes me feel in control of something. Any kind of sanity like that would make me VERY happy right now.
This tarot deck. Tarot is a personal fascination of mine, and the Gilded deck is absolutely beautiful. I've looked at it several times in Borders, but the cards are supposed to be a gift. :( Sad Tonia.
Cute (and warm) clothes that actually fit. My wardrobe is depressing and eventhough I am determined about losing my baby weight (no matter how lazy I feel lately) I would love to have clothes that fit me properly. I want to feel pretty again!
A maid service. Seriously, this would be a godsend. I try to clean, but I don't really have the time to deep clean anything and I WANT to. I want to scrub the bathroom down with a toothbrush! Its getting ridiculous and I can't do anything about it.
A new comforter that feels like the one I have but it prettier. Haha Mine is so digustingly comfy, its sad. I have tried getting new ones that are prettier, but they are just not the same.
And of course, to win the lottery so I can take care of my family and friends.
Cloth diapers. I really want to start using cloth diapers for Bella but its just so expensive to get started. Travis isn't 100% on board with the idea, but he's not totally against it either. He knows it'd save a lot of money and he thinks they're cute, but he's admitted that he's afraid to change a cloth diaper if its dirty. lol I would be nervous about it at first. It'd take some getting used to, but I would be fine with it. Also, and I can't believe that I'm about to admit this, I've started warming up to the idea of having more than one kid. Ugh, I wince everytime I thinkt hat. Anyhow, cloth diapers would save us a LOT if we had them for a second baby, too. I am NOT saying that another baby is in the plans, at least not for quite awhile, but IF it happens, then we'd have them!
Glass bottles. We have a set of three 4oz glass bottles and I LOVE them. I dont know why, really, but I definitely love them. I've tried to convince Travis that we need more, but for some reason he likes the plastic. It irritates me because (and I'm going to go there again...I'll curse myself later) I would be okay with keeping the glass bottles...plastic...not so much.
A computer desk/office area. I love being organized, but I can NOT share a desk with Travis. He is such a mess sometimes. I miss having my own office area and being able to keep things organized. It makes me feel in control of something. Any kind of sanity like that would make me VERY happy right now.
This tarot deck. Tarot is a personal fascination of mine, and the Gilded deck is absolutely beautiful. I've looked at it several times in Borders, but the cards are supposed to be a gift. :( Sad Tonia.
Cute (and warm) clothes that actually fit. My wardrobe is depressing and eventhough I am determined about losing my baby weight (no matter how lazy I feel lately) I would love to have clothes that fit me properly. I want to feel pretty again!
A maid service. Seriously, this would be a godsend. I try to clean, but I don't really have the time to deep clean anything and I WANT to. I want to scrub the bathroom down with a toothbrush! Its getting ridiculous and I can't do anything about it.
A new comforter that feels like the one I have but it prettier. Haha Mine is so digustingly comfy, its sad. I have tried getting new ones that are prettier, but they are just not the same.
And of course, to win the lottery so I can take care of my family and friends.
December 15, 2009
Check and check...
Christmas cards mailed. Check.
Boxes mailed. Check.
Progress on Travis's gifts. Check.
Everything else? Uncheck. =\
I have sooooooo much to do in the next few days. I dont even know where to start. I should be working on things right now, because Bella is sleeping, but I'm afraid of making any noise and waking her up. Its getting to be crunch time, and we've got a lot done but I'm so worried that we're not going to finish everything on time. I have a HUGE to do list, but all I really want to do is sleep and pack for our trip to KS.
Blah. I need motivation. Coffee is always good, but then I can't sleep. =\ Damnit.
Boxes mailed. Check.
Progress on Travis's gifts. Check.
Everything else? Uncheck. =\
I have sooooooo much to do in the next few days. I dont even know where to start. I should be working on things right now, because Bella is sleeping, but I'm afraid of making any noise and waking her up. Its getting to be crunch time, and we've got a lot done but I'm so worried that we're not going to finish everything on time. I have a HUGE to do list, but all I really want to do is sleep and pack for our trip to KS.
Blah. I need motivation. Coffee is always good, but then I can't sleep. =\ Damnit.
December 12, 2009
December 11, 2009
My unpopular confessions and random babblings.
- I think that people who insist that others say 'Merry Christmas' are bigots. Do some research before you try to tell me that Christmas was the 'original' holiday/came first and that I should 'respect tradition'. If someone says Happy Holidays to you, there's a good chance that they're saying it so they don't offend anyone else's religious views.
- I hate decorative towels. Especially white/cream ones. They end up looking dirty, whether they get used or not, and really...what's the point?
- Sometimes, I play dumb around Travis and let him explain things to me so he feels smarter. Sometimes he'll explain it wrong/weird and I want to correct him, but it makes him feel better about himself to be right and after everything he's done for me, I think I can give him that.
- I think the idea of paying a child for getting good grades is absolutely ridiculous. I can't even explain how stupid I think this is, but let me say this. It's a cop out. Motivating a child to learn is part of a parent's job, and giving them money is teaching them thats is perfectly fine to half-ass things or take the easy way out.
- When I was growing up, we very rarely had dessert after a meal, so around people who have it after EVERY meal, I get a little weirded out. For example, Travis's family is the type to always have some kind of dessert. Last night when we were at dinner, his cousins, who are 9 and 13, (and who do not eat the actual meal, they have to have certain foods made for them, because they refuse to try anything new) ate a tiny meal, as in a couple bites of pasta, and then ran off to watch TV while the adults finished eating. They kept running back downstairs, asking if dessert was ready. When we were cleaning up, their grandmother asked if they were going to help clean up at all. Their response was "No, I dont think so, just let me know when dessert is ready" and they ran off again. That alone is bad enough, but when they finally did come back down for dessert, they both took 15 cookies (yes, 15 each was their "limit") and left again. This irritates the hell out of me. If a child isn't going to eat a meal, they shouldn't get dessert. Period. Also, children should not be raised to think that they 'deserve' dessert, especially if they're rude and don't help with cleaning up. I see this every week and I cannot wrap my head around how someone can raise their children to act this way.
- I love bright colored clothes for Bella, and eventhough I appreciate any gift someone gives me, I always get a little irked when people give us pale pink clothes. There's so many bright, pretty colored clothes out there, but pale pink is all anyone (except my older sister, because she knows I don't like the color) gives us.
- I think that there needs to be a system in place to give those who claim that they are trying to make ends meet, but cant, jobs that they HAVE to work their ass off at. I've had too many people tell me that they are working SO hard to get by, but it turns out they were working one part-time job and turning down 'harder' work because they didn't want to do it. Travis and I arent even able to make ends meet right now, and if I could find a job that was going to pay more than I'd pay in daycare, I'd take it (I dont see the point in taking a job that would end up costing me money, instead of letting someone else who could actually make money that they could USE get it). I don't care if it was serious manual labor and 12+ hours a day. I'd take it. Yes, I'd miss my baby more than anything, but I want her to have a better life than we have now, and I'm willing to work for it.
- I believe that gay marriage should be legal. I don't care what your religion says, I believe that LAW and RELIGION should be kept seperate. If people start mixing religion and politics, who knows what will happen. I'd rather not be at the risk of treason because I don't go to church.
- I love Travis, and I fully trust him, but I am afraid to leave him alone with Bella for extended periods of time. I am afraid that he'll realize how hard it can be sometimes and that he'll get frustrated with Bella.
- I hate decorative towels. Especially white/cream ones. They end up looking dirty, whether they get used or not, and really...what's the point?
- Sometimes, I play dumb around Travis and let him explain things to me so he feels smarter. Sometimes he'll explain it wrong/weird and I want to correct him, but it makes him feel better about himself to be right and after everything he's done for me, I think I can give him that.
- I think the idea of paying a child for getting good grades is absolutely ridiculous. I can't even explain how stupid I think this is, but let me say this. It's a cop out. Motivating a child to learn is part of a parent's job, and giving them money is teaching them thats is perfectly fine to half-ass things or take the easy way out.
- When I was growing up, we very rarely had dessert after a meal, so around people who have it after EVERY meal, I get a little weirded out. For example, Travis's family is the type to always have some kind of dessert. Last night when we were at dinner, his cousins, who are 9 and 13, (and who do not eat the actual meal, they have to have certain foods made for them, because they refuse to try anything new) ate a tiny meal, as in a couple bites of pasta, and then ran off to watch TV while the adults finished eating. They kept running back downstairs, asking if dessert was ready. When we were cleaning up, their grandmother asked if they were going to help clean up at all. Their response was "No, I dont think so, just let me know when dessert is ready" and they ran off again. That alone is bad enough, but when they finally did come back down for dessert, they both took 15 cookies (yes, 15 each was their "limit") and left again. This irritates the hell out of me. If a child isn't going to eat a meal, they shouldn't get dessert. Period. Also, children should not be raised to think that they 'deserve' dessert, especially if they're rude and don't help with cleaning up. I see this every week and I cannot wrap my head around how someone can raise their children to act this way.
- I love bright colored clothes for Bella, and eventhough I appreciate any gift someone gives me, I always get a little irked when people give us pale pink clothes. There's so many bright, pretty colored clothes out there, but pale pink is all anyone (except my older sister, because she knows I don't like the color) gives us.
- I think that there needs to be a system in place to give those who claim that they are trying to make ends meet, but cant, jobs that they HAVE to work their ass off at. I've had too many people tell me that they are working SO hard to get by, but it turns out they were working one part-time job and turning down 'harder' work because they didn't want to do it. Travis and I arent even able to make ends meet right now, and if I could find a job that was going to pay more than I'd pay in daycare, I'd take it (I dont see the point in taking a job that would end up costing me money, instead of letting someone else who could actually make money that they could USE get it). I don't care if it was serious manual labor and 12+ hours a day. I'd take it. Yes, I'd miss my baby more than anything, but I want her to have a better life than we have now, and I'm willing to work for it.
- I believe that gay marriage should be legal. I don't care what your religion says, I believe that LAW and RELIGION should be kept seperate. If people start mixing religion and politics, who knows what will happen. I'd rather not be at the risk of treason because I don't go to church.
- I love Travis, and I fully trust him, but I am afraid to leave him alone with Bella for extended periods of time. I am afraid that he'll realize how hard it can be sometimes and that he'll get frustrated with Bella.
December 9, 2009
How to waste a lot of time...
Okay, so this really depends on your sense of humor, I guess, but these sites are a great way to waste a lot of time...
http://failblog.org/
http://icanhascheezburger.com/
http://ihasahotdog.com/
http://roflrazzi.com/
http://totallylookslike.com/
http://punditkitchen.com/
http://upnextinsports.com/
http://graphjam.com/
http://onceuponawin.com/
http://engrishfunny.com/
http://cakewrecks.blogspot.com/
http://textsfromlastnight.com/
http://thechive.com/
http://craftastrophe.net/
http://ikeahacker.blogspot.com/
http://mylifeisaverage.com/
http://thebloggess.com/
http://www.worldwidefred.com/home.htm
http://epicute.com/
http://faildogs.com/
http://myfirstfail.com/
http://dailysquee.com/
http://lovelylisting.com/
http://cuteoverload.com/
http://stfuparents.tumblr.com/
http://www.thispeanutlookslikeaduck.com/quack/
http://thereifixedit.com/
http://itmademyday.com/
http://wedinator.com/
http://pictureisunrelated.com/
http://photoshopdisasters.blogspot.com/
http://www.urlesque.com/
http://www.dlisted.com/
http://twitter.com/shitmydadsays
http://www.overheardintheoffice.com/
http://probablybadnews.com/
http://verydemotivational.com/
http://www.theonion.com/content/index
http://failblog.org/
http://icanhascheezburger.com/
http://ihasahotdog.com/
http://roflrazzi.com/
http://totallylookslike.com/
http://punditkitchen.com/
http://upnextinsports.com/
http://graphjam.com/
http://onceuponawin.com/
http://engrishfunny.com/
http://cakewrecks.blogspot.com/
http://textsfromlastnight.com/
http://thechive.com/
http://craftastrophe.net/
http://ikeahacker.blogspot.com/
http://mylifeisaverage.com/
http://thebloggess.com/
http://www.worldwidefred.com/home.htm
http://epicute.com/
http://faildogs.com/
http://myfirstfail.com/
http://dailysquee.com/
http://lovelylisting.com/
http://cuteoverload.com/
http://stfuparents.tumblr.com/
http://www.thispeanutlookslikeaduck.com/quack/
http://thereifixedit.com/
http://itmademyday.com/
http://wedinator.com/
http://pictureisunrelated.com/
http://photoshopdisasters.blogspot.com/
http://www.urlesque.com/
http://www.dlisted.com/
http://twitter.com/shitmydadsays
http://www.overheardintheoffice.com/
http://probablybadnews.com/
http://verydemotivational.com/
http://www.theonion.com/content/index
The madness continues
Alright, so I've been totally slacking on updating, lately, but I have a very good reason...
Teething.
And life has been all around insane lately. I feel like a barely have time to think (unless I stay awake at night to clear my head, of course...but that ends up making me so tired that I can barely function).
So...anyway...on to updates.
Bella has definitely found her hands. She's all around staring at them. Its really cute, but it causes an issue when she starts getting her hands closer and closer to her face and then ends up poking herself in the eye.
I've started figuring out all the stuff that I want to do for Christmas gifts. I'm planning on doing a lot of rice pillows for people. I've got quite a list going for Travis. So far I'm planning on doing 'coupons' for things like a free massage, boys night out, 'game time' (where I won't nag him for it), etc; a 'daddy box' filled with little things 'from' Bella (including her ID bracelet from the hospital, her handprints, and a picture of her decked out in her I love daddy gear); and a few other things that I can't remember at the moment (which sucks because I forgot to write them down too...damnit). I am truly clueless about what to do for Bella. We can't really afford much for her, so I've still got to keep thinking.
We did a 'photo shoot' with Bella tonight. Travis's friend Chris came over and he did a little mini photo shoot with her. The pictures turned out alright, but the funniest part was definitely when he was in 'photographer mode'. He was standing on the coffee table and laying on the floor and just being goofy. He was actually doing the whole french accent and 'tossing his camera' saying he was done and whatnot just to be dorky. Definitely a lot of fun. I'll probably end up taking more pictures for her 'christmas pics', though. There weren't a lot that turned out how I wanted, but I didn't want to hurt his feelings because he was so excited to get to play photographer.
Also, Travis and I are thinking about starting an Etsy store. He really likes the idea, but I'm not sure we can start yet. I think we'll wait until after the holidays, when things settle down a little bit. So far, I know he wants to do 'cookie mix' jars (he's a baker...he also had the idea of doing the lactation cookie mix, which I think is a good idea, because sometimes the ingredients are a pain in the ass to find). I'll probably do some of the rice pillows, handmade jewelry, and several other random things. I'm very crafty, but its always a mix of so many things. We'll see how that all turns out. Maybe if I get a sewing machine (which we plan on doing sometime) I'll get into it and start making baby slings and the 'miracle wrap' dress/skirt things.
Ugh. Okay, the munchkin is about ready for bed. Hopefully I'll get a chance to update more soon.
Teething.
And life has been all around insane lately. I feel like a barely have time to think (unless I stay awake at night to clear my head, of course...but that ends up making me so tired that I can barely function).
So...anyway...on to updates.
Bella has definitely found her hands. She's all around staring at them. Its really cute, but it causes an issue when she starts getting her hands closer and closer to her face and then ends up poking herself in the eye.
I've started figuring out all the stuff that I want to do for Christmas gifts. I'm planning on doing a lot of rice pillows for people. I've got quite a list going for Travis. So far I'm planning on doing 'coupons' for things like a free massage, boys night out, 'game time' (where I won't nag him for it), etc; a 'daddy box' filled with little things 'from' Bella (including her ID bracelet from the hospital, her handprints, and a picture of her decked out in her I love daddy gear); and a few other things that I can't remember at the moment (which sucks because I forgot to write them down too...damnit). I am truly clueless about what to do for Bella. We can't really afford much for her, so I've still got to keep thinking.
We did a 'photo shoot' with Bella tonight. Travis's friend Chris came over and he did a little mini photo shoot with her. The pictures turned out alright, but the funniest part was definitely when he was in 'photographer mode'. He was standing on the coffee table and laying on the floor and just being goofy. He was actually doing the whole french accent and 'tossing his camera' saying he was done and whatnot just to be dorky. Definitely a lot of fun. I'll probably end up taking more pictures for her 'christmas pics', though. There weren't a lot that turned out how I wanted, but I didn't want to hurt his feelings because he was so excited to get to play photographer.
Also, Travis and I are thinking about starting an Etsy store. He really likes the idea, but I'm not sure we can start yet. I think we'll wait until after the holidays, when things settle down a little bit. So far, I know he wants to do 'cookie mix' jars (he's a baker...he also had the idea of doing the lactation cookie mix, which I think is a good idea, because sometimes the ingredients are a pain in the ass to find). I'll probably do some of the rice pillows, handmade jewelry, and several other random things. I'm very crafty, but its always a mix of so many things. We'll see how that all turns out. Maybe if I get a sewing machine (which we plan on doing sometime) I'll get into it and start making baby slings and the 'miracle wrap' dress/skirt things.
Ugh. Okay, the munchkin is about ready for bed. Hopefully I'll get a chance to update more soon.
December 5, 2009
I'm up for rent
Its the holidays again and of course that means I'm broke. This last year has been bad, but its really bad now because I feel bad that I can't really get Bella much. We've got to watch every penny we spend, so we'll be able to have enough money to get out to KS and back for Christmas, and its frustrating. I want to be able to get Bella all kinds of toys, clothes, etc, but right now we're lucky to get the essentials.
I think I just need to rent myself out.
I cook, clean, babysit, organize, entertain, and can be a personal masseuse. Anyone need my services? :P
I think I just need to rent myself out.
I cook, clean, babysit, organize, entertain, and can be a personal masseuse. Anyone need my services? :P
December 4, 2009
I give in!
To whoever sent the marching band into my head and told them to beat the crap out of my brain while playing really awful music, please make them stop. It hurts and I want to crawl into a dark cave and not come out for awhile. :( Not cool.
I'm not allowed to nap
So, after battling exhaustion the last few days, I have decided that it is better that I just stay kind of tired throughout the day than try to nap and get completely and totally exhausted. I still don't have any clue why I am getting so tired. I know I haven't been sleeping real well, but I feel like I haven't even gotten to close my eyes in the past three months. Travis actually had to stay home after his lunch yesterday because I was literally falling asleep while feeding Bella. I could NOT function. I need to figure this shit out. I hate feeling tired.
Anyhow...I have finally got some ideas for Christmas gifts. Since money is so tight, we'll be making most of our gifts, and they will be pretty simple, but I have got to get started soon. One of the things that it going to be taking the longest is the clipboard calendars. I've made them before and they're a really fun idea but its SUCH a pain to do manually. Its hard to describe them. I'll have to post pics when I finish one. We're hoping to do them for a few people in Travis's family.
To be honest, I'm a little iffy about giving his family anything. Last year I made his grandmother a rosary and was actually really happy with how it turned out...and when I gave it to her she just said "oh, okay" and tossed it aside. It took a lot of work figuring out how to make it and whatnot, since I'm not Catholic and I really didn't even know what a rosary consisted of, but I made it and Travis got it blessed by his mother's favorite priest (she passed in Sept of 08). And she just fucking tossed it aside.
I'm still a little sore about that, can you tell?
Anyway, we'll also be doing a few other little crafty things...if I can get my ass in gear and actually start them all. I think we need to hit up a craft store this weekend to find a few of the little things I'm going to need (magnetic strip and a piece of sheet metal). Hopefully once I get everything we can start getting them done.
Blah. So...in other news for this week, we have our trees up. And yes I mean trees. We have the tree in the living room, that we bought but weren't allowed to decorate because God forbid we don't decorate it how their mother would have. We also have a small tree in Bella's room that I didn't get to decorate because I was folding clothes while Travis decorated it. Yeah, a little sore about that too. He got to put up both of our ornaments (one for our family and one for Bella) and I didn't do shit. -.-
Oh, and the house looks like someone threw up decorations everywhere. Apparently their mother used to go a little overboard, and his sister insists on doing things how 'mommy' did them (sorry but it irks me that a 21 yr old still refers to her mother as mommy...never just mom...then again, she acts like a 5 yr old, so that doesn't help). So I have to tiptoe around the house to avoid knocking things over.
Ooooh AND there are currently five Christmas stockings up...and none of them are for me or Bella.... She hung up hers, Travis's, her gf's, their mom's and their mom's bf's...she did this because she didn't want there to be enough room for Bella or me to have stockings. WTF? Seriously, I'm ready to move. THAT would be my ideal Christmas present. As I've said many times before, I'd rather be back in KS in my tiny ass studio apartment than in this fucking house.
Anyway, its probably time for me to go make the monkey a bottle. She's been napping for awhile and she looks like she's starting to stir.
Anyhow...I have finally got some ideas for Christmas gifts. Since money is so tight, we'll be making most of our gifts, and they will be pretty simple, but I have got to get started soon. One of the things that it going to be taking the longest is the clipboard calendars. I've made them before and they're a really fun idea but its SUCH a pain to do manually. Its hard to describe them. I'll have to post pics when I finish one. We're hoping to do them for a few people in Travis's family.
To be honest, I'm a little iffy about giving his family anything. Last year I made his grandmother a rosary and was actually really happy with how it turned out...and when I gave it to her she just said "oh, okay" and tossed it aside. It took a lot of work figuring out how to make it and whatnot, since I'm not Catholic and I really didn't even know what a rosary consisted of, but I made it and Travis got it blessed by his mother's favorite priest (she passed in Sept of 08). And she just fucking tossed it aside.
I'm still a little sore about that, can you tell?
Anyway, we'll also be doing a few other little crafty things...if I can get my ass in gear and actually start them all. I think we need to hit up a craft store this weekend to find a few of the little things I'm going to need (magnetic strip and a piece of sheet metal). Hopefully once I get everything we can start getting them done.
Blah. So...in other news for this week, we have our trees up. And yes I mean trees. We have the tree in the living room, that we bought but weren't allowed to decorate because God forbid we don't decorate it how their mother would have. We also have a small tree in Bella's room that I didn't get to decorate because I was folding clothes while Travis decorated it. Yeah, a little sore about that too. He got to put up both of our ornaments (one for our family and one for Bella) and I didn't do shit. -.-
Oh, and the house looks like someone threw up decorations everywhere. Apparently their mother used to go a little overboard, and his sister insists on doing things how 'mommy' did them (sorry but it irks me that a 21 yr old still refers to her mother as mommy...never just mom...then again, she acts like a 5 yr old, so that doesn't help). So I have to tiptoe around the house to avoid knocking things over.
Ooooh AND there are currently five Christmas stockings up...and none of them are for me or Bella.... She hung up hers, Travis's, her gf's, their mom's and their mom's bf's...she did this because she didn't want there to be enough room for Bella or me to have stockings. WTF? Seriously, I'm ready to move. THAT would be my ideal Christmas present. As I've said many times before, I'd rather be back in KS in my tiny ass studio apartment than in this fucking house.
Anyway, its probably time for me to go make the monkey a bottle. She's been napping for awhile and she looks like she's starting to stir.
December 1, 2009
Okay I need to bitch
I need to bitch about people telling me they're tired... I'm sick of hearing it. I'm sick of hearing how people "have" to hit snooze ten times in the morning before they can roll out of bed. It must be nice to have a chance to wake up before you have to jump out of bed and rush around. I, on the other hand, get up whenever Bella decides its time to wake up. No snooze button, no crawling out of bed, none of that shit.
I. am. fucking. tired.
The worst is that Travis has been complaining about being tired ALL the time lately. I'm getting really irritated by it. I go to sleep after him...I get up before him...and I dont have a chance to sit and just clear my head during the day because I have to take care of Bella... And THEN he has the audacity to act like he's doing me a favor when he gets up with her ONCE on the weekends. She still sleeps through the night and all, but she wakes up fairly early in the morning and its tiring getting up so early, because once I am up and around, I can't fall back asleep. Travis, on the other hand, can get her back to sleep and goes back to sleep for three hours...and yet he still bitches about it.
I'm pissy. I know I'm PMS'ing right now, but goddamnit I'm sick of this shit. I'm sick of catching attitude because I need a fucking break when he gets home from work. He admits that he doesn't do shit at work, but yet he still acts like he just worked his ass off and I'm being a huge bitch by asking him to watch HIS daughter so I can relax for ten minutes.
We both need a vacation...I know we do...but Christmas is not coming fast enough.
I. am. fucking. tired.
The worst is that Travis has been complaining about being tired ALL the time lately. I'm getting really irritated by it. I go to sleep after him...I get up before him...and I dont have a chance to sit and just clear my head during the day because I have to take care of Bella... And THEN he has the audacity to act like he's doing me a favor when he gets up with her ONCE on the weekends. She still sleeps through the night and all, but she wakes up fairly early in the morning and its tiring getting up so early, because once I am up and around, I can't fall back asleep. Travis, on the other hand, can get her back to sleep and goes back to sleep for three hours...and yet he still bitches about it.
I'm pissy. I know I'm PMS'ing right now, but goddamnit I'm sick of this shit. I'm sick of catching attitude because I need a fucking break when he gets home from work. He admits that he doesn't do shit at work, but yet he still acts like he just worked his ass off and I'm being a huge bitch by asking him to watch HIS daughter so I can relax for ten minutes.
We both need a vacation...I know we do...but Christmas is not coming fast enough.
It's December
It's December...what does that mean for my life?
It means that I will be visiting Neopets.com to collect my advent prizes...lol Yep, I am THAT lame...I've done this for...8 years or so now...
I know it won't help much, but I just really want paintbrushes!
(If you've never played the game, none of this will make sense...That's normal...not everyone is as geeky as me. =\ )
It means that I will be visiting Neopets.com to collect my advent prizes...lol Yep, I am THAT lame...I've done this for...8 years or so now...
I know it won't help much, but I just really want paintbrushes!
(If you've never played the game, none of this will make sense...That's normal...not everyone is as geeky as me. =\ )
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